What you need, without the guessing.
Wants, boundaries, desire, and the difference between what you meant and what your partner heard.
A Relationship Ritual Workbook for Black Sapphic Couples
The House
We Make
Build the love you live in.
There is the love you feel. And there is the everyday work of understanding each other. Make room for both.
$49 introductory price regularly $64
Digital download. Read, type, or print at home.
134pages to return to
228fillable writing areas
Your pace.One conversation at a time.
The life behind “How are we?”
Love lives in
the everyday.
Who gets to rest. What happens when family calls during your time together. How you ask for care when everyone is used to you being strong.
These are relationship conversations, too.
Meet the workCare that makes room for change.
Rest, changing bodies, menstruation, perimenopause, menopause, and the work of caring for each other.
A shared life you both help shape.
Money, family expectations, invisible labor, identity, pleasure, and the future you want to build.
Open the door
See what the conversations look like.
Readings, conversations, and space for your own words. These are actual pages from the workbook.
Read the full page The Door Page 23
Can this wait until tomorrow?
A conversation about timing, attention, and what happens after “later.”
Read the full page The Rooms Page 55
Who gets to be off duty?
Making room for rest when being the dependable one has become a job.
Read the full page The Roof Page 91
Where I can count on you
A closer look at trust, from keeping a promise to respecting a no.
Written with us in mind
You deserve room
for your whole self.
There is no single way to be Black. No single way to be sapphic. No single way to make a home together.
This workbook makes room for the roles you inherited, the expectations you are questioning, and the agreements you want to make for yourselves.
It welcomes Black lesbians, SGL and queer Black women, bisexual and pansexual Black women in sapphic relationships, Black nonbinary sapphics, and Black transmasculine people and trans men connected to sapphic community. Each partner gets to name their own experience.
The Core Edition
Start where
you are.
You can answer separately, sit together, or begin with the conversation that keeps coming back. You do not have to work through every page in order.
Type and return.
A fillable digital edition with 228 writing areas.
Put pen to paper.
Color and low-ink print editions of the complete workbook.
Make it your practice.
134 pages of readings, conversations, and exercises to use at your own pace.
Keep in touch
A little room
in your inbox.
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Care comes first
A relationship tool.
Not crisis care.
The House We Make supports reflection and conversation. It is not therapy or crisis support, and it is not intended for shared use in relationships involving abuse, coercion, threats, or violence.
If you are in immediate danger, contact local emergency services.